I've moved.
I will no longer be posting on this particular blog. This is the last one.
Savage Facts
The Savage:
: has moved here
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Gun Show and Facts
You know, it's really tough to find a decent, button down shirt for a guy like me....
I have to get 3x or 4x to get the neck size right but then trying to find one that doesn't double as a parachute is a tall order. I guess it's custom button downs from now on.... Yes, ladies. My neck is really that bite-able. Remember though, I bite back.
Savage Facts
The Savage:
: might not be "cut" but he's big and strong
: loves chocolate milk
: prefers the Ripped Away version of "No Rain" off the Nico Album by Blind Melon over the more commonly known version
: thinks Butlik should cover Jackyl's "The Lumberjack"
: can start a fire with steel wool and a few batteries
: would survive a zombie apocalypse
: would love to go back to Canada
: wants to mow one of hid fields with a scythe simply for the work-out
: needs to get a scythe
: is trying to think of a semi-obscure song related fact
: got his boots on, got his hat.... dusty
: wonders if anyone will get the semi-obscure song reference
: is thinking about getting on the show "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader"
: has been out of high school for 15 years
: wonders if the video of him and his ex ever made it online
: will leave the Savage Facts at that....
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Liquid Voodoo and a Savage Short Story
Every good bar-tender has at least one signature drink in his or her arsenal. It can be an original or a little extra oomph to an already existing drink. I used to be a bartender and I did/do have an original signature drink.
There's a story behind Liquid Voodoo.
It started out in a dead night at Ground Zero, one of the bars I worked at as a mixologist. My buddy John was in, down on his luck and I had free reign to come up with something new that night.
So the mixing began. There were several pretty good but non-memorable drinks, quite a few, "Oh yeah that's so and so's drink or I remember that from my bartender Rolodex." Then I struck gold with this little honey of a drink. John asked me what I was going to call it. In my drunkenness I replied, "Tropical Crotch Rot!"
So for about three months people kept ordering the 6 dollar thing and in a move I am glad to have made I renamed it to the classier, Liquid Voodoo....
This unassuming elixir will not only remind you of some kind of punch you never had but also if you get the balance just right you won't even taste a hint of alcohol.
I don't recommend drinking more than four....
Some of my long time blog followers have already seen this recipe but I have a whole host of newly Savaged bloggers who have yet to see it. Lets face it, not many people go back through the entire archives of a newly found blog.
Here goes....
Liquid Voodoo
1 shot each of the following in a large glass full of ice:
: Captain Morgans Spiced Rum
: Malibu Coconut rum (or Parrot Bay)
: Amaretto
: Southern Comfort
A splash of Triple Sec
A splash of lime juice
Fill with equal parts orange juice and pineapple juice
and finally drizzle in about a shot worth of grenadine
Story time....
This is another re-write of mine. The old copy got lost on one of my past fried computers....
Coffee
A fat lady in the next booth coughs that fake cough I know oh so well as I light up a Lucky. This place is one of the few left in the city that allows anyone to smoke and some fat cow is rudely coughing in hopes that I put it out. Fuck her.
I slowly sip my coffee and wonder why I keep coming here. Could be the fact that it’s a twenty-four hour, greasy spoon and I don’t have a whole lot of places to hang out at 3:00 am. It could be the coffee.
Now the fat lady’s fat, toad faced kid is making faces at me. The smirk on the cow’s face seems to show that she approves of his behavior.
Why the fuck would you have your kid, toad faced or otherwise in a place like this at 3:00am?
The waitress has a pot of coffee in her hand as she passes me up like I’m not here. I get her attention as soon as she’s back at the counter. She trudges dejectedly on over to fill up my cup. You could have filled it up on the way to the counter and your simple minded word-search puzzle but no. The mean ol’ customer had to make you work…. at your job!
She was probably pretty once. Probably about five ex-husbands, seven kids and 3000 cartons of cheap-ass cigarettes ago. Maybe not.
The fat lady is at the fake coughing again as she talks with her crack-whore, thin friend. She’s wondering why she can’t find a “real” man. Could be because she keeps shoving cake in her mouth through every other word and every other fake coughing fit.
The kid has added sound effects to his faces. Maybe the cow will get lucky and toad-face here will develop a cross between bestiality and an Oedipus complex. Only way she’ll ever get laid again. My condolences to the guy who got drunk enough to give her the hell spawn she has.
Crack whore winks at me. I ignore her
Why do I keep coming here? It’s got to be the coffee.
I crush out the cig and light a new one.
Yep. As I predicted, the cow has redoubled her efforts with the coughing. Chubby toad-face is redoubling his noise and face making efforts as well.
I draw the shadows around me and pull out my vampiric best. I put on a horrendous face and strike shear terror into Toad-face. He’s too scared to cry. I grab a hunk of cake and shove it down the windpipe of the cow. She’s choking….
No one saw me. No one but the toad faced fat kid.
It’s a funny thing to watch a scrawny crack whore try to perform the Heimlich on a fat woman she can barely get her arms around. The kid ain’t making faces anymore, except the one of shear terror.
I finish my coffee as the ambulance arrives, tip the possibly once pretty (maybe not) waitress a ten spot go out the door and head for home.
It’s got to be the coffee….
-Mark “The Savage” George
There's a story behind Liquid Voodoo.
It started out in a dead night at Ground Zero, one of the bars I worked at as a mixologist. My buddy John was in, down on his luck and I had free reign to come up with something new that night.
So the mixing began. There were several pretty good but non-memorable drinks, quite a few, "Oh yeah that's so and so's drink or I remember that from my bartender Rolodex." Then I struck gold with this little honey of a drink. John asked me what I was going to call it. In my drunkenness I replied, "Tropical Crotch Rot!"
So for about three months people kept ordering the 6 dollar thing and in a move I am glad to have made I renamed it to the classier, Liquid Voodoo....
This unassuming elixir will not only remind you of some kind of punch you never had but also if you get the balance just right you won't even taste a hint of alcohol.
I don't recommend drinking more than four....
Some of my long time blog followers have already seen this recipe but I have a whole host of newly Savaged bloggers who have yet to see it. Lets face it, not many people go back through the entire archives of a newly found blog.
Here goes....
Liquid Voodoo
1 shot each of the following in a large glass full of ice:
: Captain Morgans Spiced Rum
: Malibu Coconut rum (or Parrot Bay)
: Amaretto
: Southern Comfort
A splash of Triple Sec
A splash of lime juice
Fill with equal parts orange juice and pineapple juice
and finally drizzle in about a shot worth of grenadine
Story time....
This is another re-write of mine. The old copy got lost on one of my past fried computers....
Coffee
A fat lady in the next booth coughs that fake cough I know oh so well as I light up a Lucky. This place is one of the few left in the city that allows anyone to smoke and some fat cow is rudely coughing in hopes that I put it out. Fuck her.
I slowly sip my coffee and wonder why I keep coming here. Could be the fact that it’s a twenty-four hour, greasy spoon and I don’t have a whole lot of places to hang out at 3:00 am. It could be the coffee.
Now the fat lady’s fat, toad faced kid is making faces at me. The smirk on the cow’s face seems to show that she approves of his behavior.
Why the fuck would you have your kid, toad faced or otherwise in a place like this at 3:00am?
The waitress has a pot of coffee in her hand as she passes me up like I’m not here. I get her attention as soon as she’s back at the counter. She trudges dejectedly on over to fill up my cup. You could have filled it up on the way to the counter and your simple minded word-search puzzle but no. The mean ol’ customer had to make you work…. at your job!
She was probably pretty once. Probably about five ex-husbands, seven kids and 3000 cartons of cheap-ass cigarettes ago. Maybe not.
The fat lady is at the fake coughing again as she talks with her crack-whore, thin friend. She’s wondering why she can’t find a “real” man. Could be because she keeps shoving cake in her mouth through every other word and every other fake coughing fit.
The kid has added sound effects to his faces. Maybe the cow will get lucky and toad-face here will develop a cross between bestiality and an Oedipus complex. Only way she’ll ever get laid again. My condolences to the guy who got drunk enough to give her the hell spawn she has.
Crack whore winks at me. I ignore her
Why do I keep coming here? It’s got to be the coffee.
I crush out the cig and light a new one.
Yep. As I predicted, the cow has redoubled her efforts with the coughing. Chubby toad-face is redoubling his noise and face making efforts as well.
I draw the shadows around me and pull out my vampiric best. I put on a horrendous face and strike shear terror into Toad-face. He’s too scared to cry. I grab a hunk of cake and shove it down the windpipe of the cow. She’s choking….
No one saw me. No one but the toad faced fat kid.
It’s a funny thing to watch a scrawny crack whore try to perform the Heimlich on a fat woman she can barely get her arms around. The kid ain’t making faces anymore, except the one of shear terror.
I finish my coffee as the ambulance arrives, tip the possibly once pretty (maybe not) waitress a ten spot go out the door and head for home.
It’s got to be the coffee….
-Mark “The Savage” George
Monday, September 21, 2009
Old Pictures, Randomness and Facts
An 18 year old Savage and his 18 year old pet tongue before it was named Roy....
This is me at 17 and in uniform. It's my Junior Year, JROTC Military Ball. Of course the gal in the pic went and got all sortsa sexy after highschool....
I bought a weight set the other day.... been doing a bunch of arm and upper body workouts.
New work schedule is going to be a month on/month off starting this next run.
You're pretty
Rain kind of put off my gardening plans. I'm reworking a garden I started 6 or 7 years ago. In the process of laying down a ton of shit (literally) on it that I got from the in farm fertilizer factories.... The horse and mule.
I start apprenticing to be an industrial sewing machine repairman when I get back from the next run. It'll give me something to do with my time off. I'll get paid in beer.
The guy who is going to train me to fix industrial sewing machines is the kind of guy everyone needs to know. He's the guy that finds all the good deals on just about anything.
He also offered to sell me 3 Toyota minivans for $100. That's right. 100 bucks for all three. I can get at least one good running van out of them. Then sell the other two for scrap. Good thing I have a little bit of mechanical knowledge under my belt.... I may take him up on his offer.
People always wonder why someone would want to move to the area in which they live.... They find other area fascinating. They get excited when you tell them that you had done this or that or that you swam with-in a quarter mile of dolphins. I got excited because they had corn in their fields.... Where you are at is what you make of it. Places only suck if you think they do....
Thus ends the randomosity.
Savage Facts
The Savage:
: was born an original sinner, 'cause he was born of original sin
: knows there's a gal on his next crew what likes him
: thinks he may be getting some nani while on the road
: will be going back on the road stronger than when he left it
:'s guns are back up to 17 inches round at the bicep and has gained an additional 1/4 inch round his forearms
: can punch a hole into a watermelon with his right index finger
: knows that the tensile strength of watermelon rind is almost exactly that of a person around the mid-torso
: thinks you can do the mental math
: has a hard time believing that not a single person commented about the fact that he likes to perform cunnilingus as mentioned in the prior Savage Facts
: loves old school, swirly Lifesaver's lollipops.... especially blueberry
: misses food from Guam that people keep out here as fish pets
: wants to visit some of his blogging friends one of these days
: is the smallest of the three boys in his family
: has had a pool stick broken over his head
: used to be a bouncer
: used to be a DJ
: used to be a bartender
: was once a professional coconut leaf weaver for a cultural village back on Guam
: has never toilet papered a tree
: has never been to jail except to visit his nephew
: knows how to build a fire plow (the device used by Tom Hank's character in Cast Away to start the first fire)
: is out of Savage Facts for now....
This is me at 17 and in uniform. It's my Junior Year, JROTC Military Ball. Of course the gal in the pic went and got all sortsa sexy after highschool....
I bought a weight set the other day.... been doing a bunch of arm and upper body workouts.
New work schedule is going to be a month on/month off starting this next run.
You're pretty
Rain kind of put off my gardening plans. I'm reworking a garden I started 6 or 7 years ago. In the process of laying down a ton of shit (literally) on it that I got from the in farm fertilizer factories.... The horse and mule.
I start apprenticing to be an industrial sewing machine repairman when I get back from the next run. It'll give me something to do with my time off. I'll get paid in beer.
The guy who is going to train me to fix industrial sewing machines is the kind of guy everyone needs to know. He's the guy that finds all the good deals on just about anything.
He also offered to sell me 3 Toyota minivans for $100. That's right. 100 bucks for all three. I can get at least one good running van out of them. Then sell the other two for scrap. Good thing I have a little bit of mechanical knowledge under my belt.... I may take him up on his offer.
People always wonder why someone would want to move to the area in which they live.... They find other area fascinating. They get excited when you tell them that you had done this or that or that you swam with-in a quarter mile of dolphins. I got excited because they had corn in their fields.... Where you are at is what you make of it. Places only suck if you think they do....
Thus ends the randomosity.
Savage Facts
The Savage:
: was born an original sinner, 'cause he was born of original sin
: knows there's a gal on his next crew what likes him
: thinks he may be getting some nani while on the road
: will be going back on the road stronger than when he left it
:'s guns are back up to 17 inches round at the bicep and has gained an additional 1/4 inch round his forearms
: can punch a hole into a watermelon with his right index finger
: knows that the tensile strength of watermelon rind is almost exactly that of a person around the mid-torso
: thinks you can do the mental math
: has a hard time believing that not a single person commented about the fact that he likes to perform cunnilingus as mentioned in the prior Savage Facts
: loves old school, swirly Lifesaver's lollipops.... especially blueberry
: misses food from Guam that people keep out here as fish pets
: wants to visit some of his blogging friends one of these days
: is the smallest of the three boys in his family
: has had a pool stick broken over his head
: used to be a bouncer
: used to be a DJ
: used to be a bartender
: was once a professional coconut leaf weaver for a cultural village back on Guam
: has never toilet papered a tree
: has never been to jail except to visit his nephew
: knows how to build a fire plow (the device used by Tom Hank's character in Cast Away to start the first fire)
: is out of Savage Facts for now....
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Fiery Hot Award
I little while ago I received my first Blog award. I give good blog according to Jenny Mac. After said award I began to see an incline in my ego trips.... errr readership comments. Quite few of those have blogs I enjoy reading every day. So I decided to create a Savage Award to honor the blogs I like best.
This award took me like an hour to make with three different image rendering programs I have. I hope you feel the love since I put so much time into making it.
Heff Gets the first one simply because Donna is hot and she doesn't have her own blog (that I'm aware of)
For a Different Kind of Girl gets the second because I lust her so
Hot Piece of Sass, you're just too hot not to have my award and you got your mojo back
Jenny Mac, This'll add a little more spice to your food-porn laced cyber-chronicle/cookbook
I'd award myself but that's just too tacky and a little Kanye West-ish....
This award took me like an hour to make with three different image rendering programs I have. I hope you feel the love since I put so much time into making it.
Heff Gets the first one simply because Donna is hot and she doesn't have her own blog (that I'm aware of)
For a Different Kind of Girl gets the second because I lust her so
Hot Piece of Sass, you're just too hot not to have my award and you got your mojo back
Jenny Mac, This'll add a little more spice to your food-porn laced cyber-chronicle/cookbook
I'd award myself but that's just too tacky and a little Kanye West-ish....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)